When a Lover Dies
by natale
Summary: My take on what happens after Entice. Zara just got Nick back, but is unsure of their relationship now that she's changed. Though that will seem like nothing next to her confusing feelings for her king and an enemy that is determined to see her dead.
1. Awake

I do not own Need. I wish I did because it is awesome.

**Chapter 1 - Awake**

Expergefaciphobia.

I sit inside my living room staring at the man I love. He is still asleep on the couch, though he is tossing and turning every once in a while, his eyes rolling around behind his lids. I have been sitting watching him for almost an hour now. When we first thought he was waking up, I came running inside, my heart hammering away in my chest for two reasons: 1) because I was excited and 2) because I was terrified.

I'm excited because I fought for this man with everything I had. I literally brought him back from death. He was killed by a pixie king named Frank (I know, weird name for a pixie king right?) and a Valkyrie took his body to Valhalla so that he could fight in this end-of-the-world war that's going to happen. Hopefully it's not going to happen soon. A pixie king named Astley turned me into a pixie queen and helped me rescue him. It hasn't been easy having my life turned upside down, but I've been making the best of it. I'm really strong now, so I can fight too, and protect the people I care about. I had my first real big fight in Valhalla. I had to fight the pixie king that killed Nick in order to get Nick back. Didn't think I could do it, but I guess I had more in me than I thought, just like Astley said. And now Nick's going to wake up and I can't wait because I haven't seen him in forever and I want to see him smile and laugh and I want him to hold my hand and for us to be as happy as we were before.

I am afraid because I worry he might not want to do those things with me. Nick hates pixies, and now that I am one what if he hates me too? What if I disgust him and he wants nothing more to do with me, doesn't even want to see me again? How am I supposed to stand that? My heart is banging away in my chest like big old conga drums. I feel sick.

I don't want to think about that. Everything will be fine, I tell myself.

I look out the window. Astley had been standing there just before I came inside. I can't see him now, but I know he's still there. I think even without my super-special pixie powers and the whole weirdness of being his queen I would still know he was there. He is there to wait and see what happens; to make sure I don't get hurt. He always is. I know that if things go badly and Nick tells me he doesn't love me anymore, he will be there to fly me someplace far away and give me space to cry ugly snotty tears.

I worry for him, though. He shouldn't be here to watch this. Because if things don't go badly, I think my pixie protector will end up getting himself hurt. And I don't know how to deal with that.

Nick makes a noise that sounds like something between a grunt and a bark. I turn back to him.

He is sweating and his body is rigid, like he is having a bad bad dream or is in pain. I think maybe his memory is still being erased. In Valhalla they said he wouldn't be allowed to remember his time there so they had to make him forget. Are his memories still being taken? What would that feel like?

I kneel down next to the couch and get up close to him. I want so much to wipe that sweat off of his face, but here comes the fear again. I don't want him to wake up all shocked that a pixie is touching him and go into attack mode. That would make it really hard to talk to him; and kissing would definitely be out of the question.

His body starts to relax and I hope that it's over; that he'll wake up soon. he takes a big breath in, holds it for a second, and then let's it all out in a whoosh, blowing dog breath across my face. It makes me giggle.

A small smile crosses his lips and his eyes start to flicker. Everyone in the room is looking at him, holding their breath. I kind of forgot they were there.

His eyelids open and he blinks a few times. He looks confused for a second but turns his still-smiling face toward me.

"Zara", he says softly. I think it is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.

He stares at me like that for a second and I stare back, lost in a trance. I see my whole world in those eyes.

And then his eyes widen. And his body starts to shift.


	2. Alive

I do not own Need. This is a travesty. Sell it to me Miss Jones?

**Chapter 2 - Alive**

Blennophobia.

Nick is standing now, and his skin is bristling. His body wants to turn into the wolf. Of course it does. Nick is a were and weres are meant to hunt pixies, which is what I am. I wish I wasn't.

His body looks like it's halfway between the change. His teeth look huge and he's really hairy. If I wasn't so scared I would make a red riding hood joke right now. "What big teeth you have Nick!" But now isn't the time for jokes.

It's his eyes that get to me the most. It's like he knows who I am and knows he doesn't want to hurt me, but his instincts are telling him I'm a threat, and it's tearing him in two. He's got pain in those eyes.

"Tell me it's not true," he growls around a mouthful of teeth too big for his face.

I don't know how to respond. I don't know if I can respond. I have to remember how to form words.

I feel Issie put her hand on my shoulder and I look over at her. Devyn, Cassidy, and Betty are standing around me too and I'm wondering when they got there. I take a deep breath and realize I hadn't been breathing. How long was I not breathing?

I hear Nick take a deep breath too. When I look back at him, his features are relaxing, becoming more human. He's looking between Issie and I. He sits back down on the couch behind him and runs a hand through his hair with a big sigh.

I think about how confusing this must be for him. The last thing he would remember is getting attacked by pixie king Frank, and then waking up on my couch with me pixified. Yeah, I could understand how that would be... unsettling. It still weirds me out.

Nick opens his mouth a little and looks like he's about to say something, but he doesn't get the chance. A big lump of pink and white has just attached itself to him.

"Oh Nick!", Issie squeals. She's hugging him tight and it looks like she's crying all over his shoulder.

Issie is quickly joined by the rest of the gang. They are all welcoming him back, giving him hugs or pats on the back.

"Good to see you again kid."

"Welcome back bud!"

"We missed you Nick."

Now Nick is really confused.

My mom and I are the only ones who haven't joined in. My mom is still standing in the kitchen because... well because she hates pixies too, and even though she just apologized for treating me weirdly since I became a pixie I think she's still getting used to the idea. And I am still standing by the fireplace because I'm not sure my body knows how to move anymore.

Is Nick really right in front of me? Alive and talking and breathing? Im not dreaming, right?

Nick looks through the cheering, crying crowd at me. His face gets very serious.

"What happened?", he says.

My band of friends backs up to give him some space. They look between him and me. He is still staring at me intensely, though not unkindly. They start heading into the kitchen, I guess to give us our space. I kind of wish they would stay and tell the story instead. I already told him everything in Valhalla. But he's forgotten it now, so I have to tell it again.

And this time was going to be less fun than the last time.


	3. Stories

teamastley - Thank you for the wonderful comment! It was totally sweet and made me smile. I hope I can continue to please. :)

I do not own Need or any of its characters. Though I would very much like to own one of the boys.

**Chapter 3 - Stories**

Alethophobia.

Nick and I sit down to talk, him on the couch and me on the chair. I can tell he's not ready to be near me yet. I start with the night we went to my biological father's pixie mansion - what we'd found in there: bodies of my father's pixies everywhere, red-blue blood staining the white walls and marble floors. Those who hadn't eaten each other because we'd locked them up in there with their hunger and need had either been killed by Frank or had joined him. It had all been a mess. So much worse than we'd expected.

He looks at me oddly when I remind him of this part, like he thinks it strange that it makes me so upset. I guess things have changed my perspective a little.

We hadn't expected Frank to be there. He'd surprised us and attacked Nick. I had stood there watching, not knowing what to do, and in my emotional stupidity I'd distracted him. And I had watched helplessly as Frank had ripped right through him.

Thinking back, I am glad I am not helpless anymore; now I could fight beside Nick and protect him, as it should be.

Nick doesn't remember anything after this, and I am not really sure how to tell the rest. He isn't supposed to know about Valkyries or Valhalla. I don't want to lie to him, but I'm not sure what they would do if I gave him back the information they'd just taken away, so I do my best to omit those parts.

I tell him he'd been seriously hurt and we didn't know how to fix him. I had discovered I had to change into a pixie in order to do it, and I'd asked Astley to turn me. Nick growls after I say this, and looks like he wants to crush something.

I know if I stop telling the story I might not get through it, so I keep going. I tell him how we did lots of research on how to fix him while trying to still protect the town from constant pixie attacks and boys getting taken. I tell him how so many awful things had gone wrong every time we tried something. My biological father had died (another father gone), I had gotten shot, Mrs. Nix had died...

By the time I am done filling him in, Nick's eyes are as big as saucers, and I can hear Issie crying softly in the kitchen. It wasn't a pleasant story to recount.

Nick and I sit in silence for what seems like forever. I watch every emotion play across his face.

He's so silent. I wish he'd say something. But then, Nick was always more of one for silent contemplation. That's why he made all the plans. And I can tell he is contemplating something right now, something that's bugging him.

Finally he speaks up, but he doesn't say anything I expect him to.

"How hurt did you say I was?"

I look at him sadly. This is definitely not what I want to be talking about.

"Badly." I say, my voice breaking. I can still remember cradling him in my arms, sitting in a mound of red snow, begging him to come back to me, screaming at his body.

"See, because I remember having really serious injuries, and we were out in the middle of nowhere, and you kept crying. I didn't feel like I was just loosing consciousness. I felt like once I did I would never wake up again. Something in me knew it. So tell me, Zara, how hurt was I?"

I can't answer. No one can. Because how do you tell someone that they have been dead for a month?

With no one speaking up, I can see Nick getting madder, and more hurt, and horrified. And it kills me because I know I can't say anything to make it better, only worse.

Seconds stretch on and my mouth closes and opens several times, but I can't make anything come out. My whole being wants to refuse that anything like that ever happened to the man I love. Nick just wants to hear me deny it, tell him he was in a coma or something. But he wasn't and I can't. I watch his eyes start to turn black, his teeth expand, his hair grow longer. He is in such emotional distress that I don't know what he will do. I have to tell him straight. I know I do. But the words won't come.

I feel a blast of wind hit my face, and then a soft voice answers the question that no one else can. "You died."

It is Astley. My first reaction to hearing him speak is anger, because he shouldn't have been the one to tell Nick that and now Nick is just going to get more angry. But then I see him looking between Nick and I cautiously and I realize he was afraid that if none of us answered Nick he would've transformed and hurt me. Astley worries too much. Nick would never hurt me.

Nick is shocked for a moment, as if still not expecting to hear that. Then he looks like he's in pain, deep down inside. But that doesn't last long before he explodes.


	4. Hardships

I do not own Need. Sad face.

**Chapter 4 - Hardships**

Agliophobia.

Perhaps it was a favor Astley did, telling Nick what none of us could. It made him turn to anger, instead of dwelling in the horror of what had happened to him. And knowing Nick, he can seriously dwell.

"You! You're her king? The pixie who turned her?" Nick looks ready to charge. His anger is sort if a greenish-red and it is choking when I breathe air in.

I can't feel Astley's emotions. He just nods and says "And you are her wolf." His jaw is tight when he speaks, like speaking is difficult for him.

Nick is silent for a moment, as if contemplating what to say to that. And then he looks more closely at Astley and recognition hits. His smile makes me shiver. "Didn't I kill you?"

Astley's eyes flash and the corners of his lips turn up a little. "You tried."

Nick is looking like he wants to try again.

Okay, this is not going well at all. I mean it's not like I thought these two would have a happy reunion, but I will take not killing each other any day.

I step in front of Nick, my eyes plead with him to calm down. He just looks back at me blankly. I turn to look at Astley. "Please just go Astley. Don't do this."

Astley stands there, and for a moment I think that he won't leave, that he wants to start a fight. Dark things are shifting in his eyes. I don't know exactly what they mean but somehow I know that Nick has the same eyes.

I start to panic. My heart is jumping around in my chest, banging against the sides, making it hard to breathe. What if they fight? What if one of them gets hurt? I couldn't stand that. Haven't we all been through enough this last month?

Astley is staring at me now and the darkness is gone. I feel his pity. I want to take it and throw it at him.

Issie's voice breaks the silence. "Don't be mean to Nick, Astley. He's our friend and we just got him back."

Astley's eyes soften for a moment and he looks downright guilty. Then he stands up straight and looks over at a sad Issie, a nervous Cassidy and a glaring Betty. "I apologize. I have been crude. I sometimes forget myself. I promise I will be more cordial in the future." He tries to smile but it falls a little flat. His eyes shift to mine for a split second. He is almost a blur as he turns and leaves the house.

Everyone lets out a breathe and smiles slowly spread again. We have Nick back! And okay it hasn't been the best reunion so far, but at least Nick got his answers and he isn't asking about life after death or anything so that's a plus, right? Only, Nick isn't smiling. He looks way too serious.

"Why was that pixie invited in the house?"

Betty sighs. "Long story."

Devyn puts a hand on Nick's shoulder. "Don't worry dude, we'll figure out a way to revoke the invitation."

That makes me frown. I wonder what Issie and Cassidy think. By the look on Betty's face, I think she might agree.

Nick walks back to the couch and falls onto it, his face hidden by one of his big hands. This time I can't help myself - I go to him. I put my hand on his shoulder. He flinches a little, but doesn't move away.

His hair is all over the place. He is really scruffy since he hasn't shaved or had a haircut in a month. I run my fingers through it. Nick looks up at me. He looks so sad. I wish I could take his sadness away.

Nick and I sit like that for a while; the others talking behind us about all that has happened and tossing around plans of how to get the pixies out of our town. I am not really listening. I am basking in the moment. Nick is back and I am leaning against him with eyes closed. I wish things could always be this way.

I feel Nick shift a little. I look up into his deep brown eyes. "I'm sorry, Zara. I'm sorry that you've suffered while I've been... gone." His voice is hoarse and emotional. I smile. Typical Nick - he takes the whole world on his shoulders.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I will make it right." His voice is stronger and very serious. Just having him here makes everything right. With him here, I know we can save Bedford.

Nick is looking at me very intensely, looking deep into my eyes. It makes me smile and I feel a tingle all the way down to my toes. He gets up all of a sudden and starts walking to the door.

I get up too. "Where are you going?"

"The library."

"O-okay. Why? You should probably be resting. You must be tired."

"No. I feel like I've rested too much." He frowns at that. "I just need a quiet place to sit and think by myself for a little bit."

That makes _me_ frown. I guess that means he doesn't want me with him. "Alright. Do you want the keys to the MINI?"

"No. I'm just going to run."

He means he's going to shift into a wolf and run outside. He only does that when he's upset. And I just know that he's upset at the truth of what I am.

"Of course." I suck my lips in toward my teeth. I can feel tears coming on, but I try to hold them back. I'm not doing a very good job at it.

"Hey Baby. C'mon, don't cry." I see his feet walk toward me and his arms come around me. He holds me real tight, like he used to, and it feels so good. I lean into his embrace and put my arms around him too. I hear him suck in a breathe. I loosen my hold.

"Sorry." I blush. It's weird being stronger than Nick.

His hand comes under my chin and he lifts my face up. My face is wet and now red so I am sure I look like a drowned tomato, but when I look up at Nick's face, that all goes away. Even though he looks like he feels super weird to be touching a pixie so tenderly, I can tell there is still love there. It is seeping through the weirdness. It makes me want to cry again.

"I promise everything will be alright Zara. I will make sure of it."

I attempt a smile and wipe my face. I love this man.

He pulls his arms back and turns around. He gives me a small smile as he walks out the door.

At least I got a hug from him, got to feel his arms tight around me. That's definitely progress, even if it wasn't a kiss.

A kiss! I can't believe I hadn't thought of thus before. How was I going to kiss him? A pixie kiss - the kind that turns a human into a pixie - can kill a were. I was really going to have to talk to Astley about how that worked, or rather didn't work.

Even if I couldn't have kisses, though, I knew we would be fine. He still loved me.

I stand staring at the door for a bit, not exactly sure what I'm feeling, but my whole body feels lighter somehow. It's like I was holding on to all this weight and now it's just gone. I am floating. No... I'm falling.

I catch myself with my foot before I fall over. Betty runs over to me.

"Oh Zara, honey, you need to get some sleep. It's been a long day."

It had been a long day. I experienced a pixie war, ran up a rainbow to get to Valhalla, where I fought and defeated a pixie king, saved Nick, diffused another war between a pixie and a were, and went through heartbreak and euphoria with Nick. Plus my gunshot wound still wasn't completely healed. I suppose some sleep is over due.

I yawn. "You're right Grams. I think I'll lay down for a bit." I turn to my friends. "We can all talk strategy at the coffee shop later."

As soon as I reach my bed I collapse and pass out.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the chapter! My longest yet! Hoping to get longer as I go. Please review!


	5. Sharing

Sorry for the delay. Here is a belated Valentine's Day present for my lovely readers.

teamstley & FeriPinkFlava - Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews! You really made me smile. :)

Don't own Need. It sucks, I know.

**Chapter 5 - Sharing**

Allodoxaphobia.

The next day, we all go to the coffee shop. We are having a meeting on how we are going to get rid of all the evil pixies in Bedford. Only, the meeting hasn't started yet. We are still waiting on Nick.

None of us have seen him since he left for the library. This would have made me worry, but he still texted us. I texted him this morning to tell him when and where to meet us for the big war discussion and he'd said he be there, but we'd been waiting half an hour now.

Just as I'm thinking of calling him, he steps through the door. He finds us right away and grabs a seat.

He looks at me and gives me a small smile. "Hey."

I smile back. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Not bad I guess. It's a little weird to be missing a month of time, though."

"Well apparently that's screwed up your perception of time too, because you're late," Devyn says. He looks a little annoyed with Nick for a second, but then he laughs and punches him in the shoulder. Nick apologizes and punches Devyn back.

Boys.

Nick and Devyn straighten up and suddenly they're all business.

"How many boys are missing?" Nick asks.

Devyn answers. "Eight boys and one girl have been taken." Devyn has kept track of each one that has gone missing, and each one we've brought back.

Nick looks surprised. "One girl?"

I answer. "Yeah. It seems they've gotten desperate, or just more crazy. They've been going for older boys, and even girls."

"We've gotten rid of a lot of the pixies, though," Issie says. "Especially Zara." She beams at me in pride.

Nick looks at me in shock. "Zara has?"

"Yep! I'm tough now." I hold up my arm and show off my bicep, trying to look all tough. Issie tries to suppress her giggle. I know I don't look all that impressive. Too bad becoming a pixie doesn't give you actual muscle.

"Zara has taken out more pixies than everyone, except maybe Betty. She's even beaten your score, Nick." Devyn nudges Nick with his elbow.

I really don't like the way Devyn said that, like it's a game to kill. I give him a look, and he stops laughing.

Nick is just staring at me. He looks like this is all too much for him to believe. "What happened to you being a pacifist, Zara?"

I shrug. "I still hate violence, but even Gandhi said that violence can be called for when it's necessary to protect the ones you love."

Nick looks down at his hands. "Still, you shouldn't have had to change to protect any of us."

I'm not sure whether he means my change into a pixie or the change in my beliefs, but I wouldn't take either back. "Sometimes change is necessary."

He looks up at me, very serious. "For a time maybe; but -"

A girl walking by the window takes my attention away from Nick. It is Becca, one of Astley's pixies.

As I watch, Becca sniffs the air and looks over at me. She smiles and waves at me, then comes running into the shop.

Nick stands up so fast that his chair topples over.

"Wait Nick!" I put a hand on him to stop him. "She's a good pixie." Nick just stares at me. He doesn't attack though.

I look up at Becca and smile. "Hey Becca!"

"Hey Z-," she starts, but then I guess she realizes she's being informal because she bows. "I mean your majesty."

I roll my eyes. "Oh no bowing! And please don't call me that. What are you doing around here?"

She straightens up and smiles at me again. "I'm patrolling!"

"For the other pixies? You guys do that?" Devyn asks.

"Of course! It is our clan's sworn pledge to protect humans." She looks around at Cassidy, Devyn, and Nick. "And everyone else too."

"Don't bother," I hear Nick mutter.

If she hears Nick, she doesn't show it. "Well don't tell King Astley, but I'm kind of multitasking. I am patrolling for evil pixies while also looking for good places to shop." She winks. "So far no luck on either one."

"Well we're pretty much having the same luck with the pixies, but for shopping... have you tried French Street?" Cassidy asks.

"It's possible... Which one's French again?" Becca asks sheepishly.

"It's a couple blocks down to the left of here," Cassidy points. "There's not much to choose from around here, but there are some cute shops." She itches at her neck where her scarf is touching. Sometimes I wonder why Cassidy even likes shopping when clothes irritate her so much.

"Sounds simple enough," Becca says. "Hey I can't go shopping right now since I'm on the job and all, but do you guys want to join me later?"

Everyone is a little taken aback at that. It's not every day a pixie walks over and asks you to go shopping. It's so... Beautifully normal.

"You know what, I'll go with you," I say. "I'm not much of a shopper, but it would be nice to get to know each other." I realize I don't really know anything about Astley's pixies, and I probably should since they're my pixies too. A queen should know her subjects, right? Wow it feels weird thinking I have subjects.

Becca's eyes get all wide. She jumps up and gives a little squeal. "Really? Oh my goodness, shopping with the queen! Everyone will be so jealous! What time do you want to go?"

"Um... I guess I can meet you around 3 today."

"Perfect! That's when my shift ends. Meet you on French?"

"Sure-"

Becca runs over to me and wraps me in a hug. "Yay! You are totally the best queen ever!"

"Um... Thanks?"

She runs back over to the door, and then turns around. "Queen Zara," she bows.

"Don't -"

She winks at me. She looks over at my friends. "It was nice to meet you guys!" She waves, and then she's gone.

"She seems nice," Issie says after Becca disappears. "And here I thought you were the only cool pixie around, Zara."

"She seems dangerous," Nick mutters.

"Who? Becca? She's not dangerous. I mean I don't really know her that well, but I know that she's one of the good ones."

"Why? Because that idiot king tells you so?"

I cross my arms over my chest. "_Astley _is a good person too. And Becca is one of our pixies, so that proves she's good."

"You think you have power over these things, Zara, because you're one of them now, but it's all in your head. They are tricking you."

I flinch a little when he says 'things'. It's like what I went through with my mom all over again. That doesn't make me back down, though.

Just before I can say something, Cassidy cuts in. "So... Do you guys actually want to discuss how we're going to save Bedford? Because if we sit here arguing morality all day we'll never get a plan together." She turns to look at me. "What Becca said made me think."

"About shopping?" Issie asks.

"No, I mean when she said she was patrolling. If you believe these pixies are on the side of good, Zara, then I believe you. If they're out patrolling just like we are, then maybe we should join forces."

Nick shakes his head, but I can see Devyn thinking, considering the possibilities.

"I'm not as quick to believe as Cassidy is," Devyn says. "But that could give us a serious power boost. How many of Astley's pixies are here?"

"I think he said about 200."

Devyn's eyes go wide. "200? That's practically an army."

It is. And if we are going to fight off an army, it would definitely help to have an army of our own. "That number is only some of them, too. I'm pretty sure there's more than that scattered other places. I can ask Astley about it, but I'd guess we have at least 500."

Devyn, Issie, and Cassidy look around at each other with smiles on their faces. I know what they are thinking. 'If we can get all those pixies to fight with us, we can win.' it's a great feeling, but not one Nick is sharing in. I know it won't be easy to change his mind about pixies. It will take time, but we will get there.

We all discuss plans for another hour, but then Issie has to go home. Her mother only lets her out of the house for a couple hours at a time now, since so many people have gone missing. Even the fact that the town is being operated be the military and there are soldiers everywhere hasn't made her mom lighten up any. Devyn has decided he wants to meet with some of Astley's pixies to assess fighting skill level and talk strategy, which is really very big of him. Of course, he wants to meet them in a public place, one at a time, and he wants to bring Cassidy with him to test that they really are good, and Nick with him in case they fail, so he's still not all that trusting.

Once Devyn has left to take Issie home, Cassidy sits there for a moment looking uncomfortable and then she says goodbye and leaves too.

It's just Nick and I and even though we've been through so much together, neither of us knows what to say. I try to start conversation a few times but he looks deep in thought and he just gives me one-word answers. Finally I get frustrated and just scooch my chair right up next to his, so they are touching. He still doesn't look up.

Fine. If he's going to be that way, I'm going to have to lay on the heavy artillery. I make my eyes super wide, raise one eyebrow, and puff out my cheeks; then I move my face right up next to his. His head is still facing down, but I see his eyes move to my face and back, and I see him try to hold in a smile. I get even closer. He turns his head toward me finally and he can't keep in his laugh. He has a beautiful laugh. It is rough and deep, but it is happy and smells like honey on a warm day.

I smile at him, and then I jump up and wrap my arms around him. He wraps his arms around me too. He sighs. "I'm sorry, Baby."

I move back and look at him. "It's okay Nick. I know you're dealing with a lot really fast, but everything is really alright."

He purses his lips and looks like he wants to say something, but then just hugs me again instead. He holds me tighter than before "I love you, Zara White," he whispers.

My hearts soars. Those are most definitely the most beautiful words in all the world. They are light pink and smell like honeysuckle. "I love you too. I missed you so much."

He looks up at me, looks into my eyes. His hand is stroking my cheek. I lean into it. My eyes catch on his lips. They look so soft and nice. I see him lean in. I lean in too.

Right before our lips touch, his face moves and his lips hit my cheek instead. I am disappointed but I remind myself that it is for the best until I know I can kiss him without hurting him. I take his hand in mine and squeeze it.

Nick starts to stand up. "I should get going."

"You should come stay with me," I blurt out. "I mean... I just... I know about your parents and I want you to know you don't have to be alone. I'm sure Betty would love to have you stay at our place."

He looks sad when I mention his parents, but doesn't look surprised that I know. Devyn must have told him. He smiles at me. "That would be great."

I say bye to Nick as he leaves, feeling way better about everything than I did yesterday. I decide to stay at the coffee shop a couple more hours until I am supposed to meet up with Becca. I am actually really looking forward to it, even if it does include shopping. It would be nice to have a pixie friend, besides Astley, and I think her and I could really get along.

Everything is looking up. I cross my fingers and hope it will stay that way.

**A/N: Really long chapter this time to make up for the wait. I hope you enjoyed it! Please review!**


	6. Boys

Many thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! You guys are awesome and make me :). Those of you wanting to see more Astley - don't worry! He will definitely be coming around. He's just taking his royal time.

Still don't own Need.

**Chapter 6 - Boys**

Sexophobia.

Turning the corner to French Street, I am feeling a little out of it. I keep thinking about how Nick told me he loved me, how we almost kissed, and I keep remembering past words, past kisses. I want to kiss him. I want to get back to where we were before. I wasn't sure if we could have it all back, if Nick would want it all back now that I am what I am. But now I'm sure we can. Nick loves me.

Only, I've got this aching in my chest that hasn't gone away. Every time I think about Nick, even though I am so happy, I feel sad at the same time. No, not sad... guilty. That feeling has been stuck there, wobbling around in my chest since yesterday - since I talked with Astley.

I guess I feel guilty about hurting his feelings. He looked so sad. I hated seeing those green eyes look at me like that. So I feel guilty about making him feel bad. That must be it...

But he should also know that we are only friends. I'm with Nick. I know that I'm his queen and everything, but that doesn't mean we're going to be a couple. Like those political marriages where two people are set up together to rule a country, but may never see each other, might not even like each other - that's what Astley and I are like. Except I liked Astley. He's a really good person, even though he's had a really tough life, and he's good to his people, and he has so much responsibility for someone so young that I don't know how he does it all the time, and he's the best pixie I know, and he has the prettiest eyes, even though I know it's just glamour and his real eyes are silver, and-

"Oof!" And I just walked straight into Becca. Way to make an impression Zara. "Oh my goodness! Queen Zara, are you alright! I'm so sorry!"

"No, that was my fault. I wasn't paying attention. Are you alright?"

"Totally!" She rubs her side. "I'm afraid I wasn't paying attention either." She blushes. "These are just so pretty!"

She looks back at the window display. It's filled with a bunch of prom dresses. I forgot prom was coming up. I wonder if Nick will still go with me...

Wait a minute... a pixie at prom? Is there a special pixie prom I don't know about? Maybe they all take off their glamour and dance around in frilly pink dresses for a night. That would be quite a sight.

"Are you going to a prom, Becca?"

Her blush deepens, but a smile spreads across her face. "A date!"

"Are you going to wear one of those on the date?"

"Oh it's too much, isn't it?" She bites her lip. "I can't tell anymore. I've not been on a date in a long time."

"I guess it depends on where you're going. But if it feels right to you then that's what you should wear." She gives me a smile and looks back at the dresses with longing. "So when was the last time you dated?"

Becca shrugs but doesn't look back at me. "About 50 years ago. Back when I was human."

"Back when you were-"

She turns around and places her hands on my shoulders. "Oh Zara please help me! I really like him. Help me find a dress? Please please please please."

At the begging look on her face, I can't help but laugh and give in. "Of course. I'm not the best at this, but I'll see what I can do."

She smiles widely and gives me a hug, thanking me over and over. She's like a little kid. She reminds me of Issie actually.

Later, when Becca is in the dressing room trying on dresses, I decide to try to figure out what she had meant by what she'd said. "So, were you really human, Becca?"

When all I heard was the rustling of clothes, I wondered if I shouldn't have asked. But then she took a big breath. "Yeah, I was."

Even having heard it already, it was a shock. Here was another person who had been turned. She knew what it was like to be human, and had experience being a pixie. Fifty years of experience apparently. There were so many questions I had for her.

"How did it happen?" I ask gently. "I mean you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But, I mean, if you do, I'm here, and-"

"It was in 1962," she started. "I was fifteen and already matched up with a boy to be married." It sounded like maybe she was smiling when she said that. "I know that might sound strange to you, but it wasn't uncommon at the time. Our parents knew each other and thought we'd be a good match, so they planned our future together. When I was younger I was really mad about that, mad that the choice was taken away from me. But then we started dating and it turned out our parents were right. We were perfect together.

"How about this one?" The dressing room door opens and she comes out in a long pink dress with purple, ruffled sleeves. It reminds me of the image of pixies in poofy dresses and I almost laugh, but then I look at her. She's got a smile on her face, but her eyes are a little watery and sad-looking.

"It's really pretty. Just maybe a little too bright for - what is it? A dinner date?"

"Yeah, you're probably right." She pops back in her dressing room.

"His name was James - the boy I was supposed to marry. We'd been dating for almost a year when I started sneaking out of my house to see him. I'd climb out the window when everyone was asleep and run over to this big oak tree near his house. I almost broke my leg a couple times getting out that darn window." She gives a breathless laugh. "One night, I went over, but he wasn't at the tree waiting for me. I would've thought that he wasn't able to get away for some reason, but then I heard his muffled scream. And I saw him being dragged into the woods by two pixies."

The door swings open again. "This one?" she walks out in a yellow sundress with little pink flowers on it. It makes her eyes pop. She's trying to smile, but it falls a little short.

"Oh that's really cute!"

"But it's still not right is it?"

"Well, I think that's maybe more of kind of a day dress. But it's super cute!"

She walks back in the dressing room.

"I didn't know what they were at the time of course - the pixies. I just saw these monsters dragging my boyfriend away, and I saw his scared face disappearing into the dark. So I ran after him. Then the pixies started calling my name. Turned out there were more in the woods. Before I knew it I was lost. I tripped over a log and when I looked up, three boys were circling me. Well, they looked like boys, but of course they weren't. 'Hey pretty thing,' one said. 'Lose your little boyfriend?' 'I think she's ready for a new boyfriend,' another said. 'Give her a kiss.'"

She pauses and I hear a sniffle.

"When I woke up, they told me how lucky I was. I was so young and they doubted I'd survive. Not that they actually cared, but they were happy to have a new pet. That's how most pure pixies think of turned humans - we're just pets to them. When I asked about James, they told me he was dead. Then they told me what they did to him.

"It was awful being there. They kept me like a hostage and tried to make me like them. After a year there was an attack on their base. I met Amelie that night as she came rushing in with her wild hair, swinging a sword. She invited me to go back with her and promised it was better. I've been with this group of pixies ever since. They're the best people I know."

The door opens again and she walks out. I feel a tear roll down my cheek before I can stop it. She is wearing a deep red dress with sparkles all over it. It goes down to just above her knees and has thin straps that tie up the shoulders. The side swoops up her hip elegantly and ends in a flower with a jewel in the middle. She tries to smile again, but her bottom lip trembles. "How about this-"

I run up to her and wrap my arms around her. "It's perfect."

**A/N: I cut this one a little short because I wanted to get it to you guys fast. Sorry for the wait! I hope you liked this one. As always, please R&R.**


	7. Kissing

Hi guys! Sorry for the long wait! I know the real Entice came out today and you all are probably reading it. I am strictly avoiding it until I can get this done. It's not an easy task - I really want to know what actually happens. So my writing might be a little rushed so I can get all my ideas out fast. Forgive me! I hope to go back and give it more time someday. On the good side, you will see a ton of chapters pop up soon. Enjoy!

**Chapter 7 - Kissing**

Agoraphobia.

After Becca buys her dress, I show her around town.

"And that's all of it."

"We've only been walking five minutes."

"I know. Bedford is a small town."

Becca sits down on a bench. "So you haven't told me anything about your man. I think it's time to spill Queen Zara."

"There's really not much to tell."

"Not much to tell? You rescued him from the afterlife and fought and defeated an evil pixie to do it. There has got to be a good story there."

"Well yeah there's that. I've only been back a day, though, and Nick is still adjusting."

"Adjusting to what? Man if someone I loved went to that much trouble to rescue me, I would drag him into my room and never let him out." She winks at me.

"It's complicated. He hates pixies. And I had to become a pixie to rescue him. I think it will take a while to get back back to normal. We haven't even kissed yet, though, and-"

"Haven't even kissed? What is wrong with this boy?"

"Nothing is wrong with him!" I glare at her. Maybe this was a bad idea. She doesn't know the real Nick, so she can't understand.

"I'm sorry Zara. I didn't mean... I'm sure everything will be fine."

We sit in an awkward silence for a while, and then she asks, "So why haven't you guys kissed?"

I sigh. "Because I'm afraid to kiss him. I'm a pixie now, and the kind of pixie kiss that turns human, kills weres."

"Well I can teach you about that stuff!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! Come here." She puckers her lips and inches closer to me.

I jump clear to the other side of the bench. When I look back at her, she is giggling quietly at first. After a second it grows into all out laughter. Birds flee the trees in fright.

"You should have seen your face!" She keeps laughing. "Oh my God that was so funny!" Still laughing. "You really thought I was going to do it!" She's running out of breath now. "I. Was. _Joking_!"

I wait a second for her to catch her breath. "Are you done yet?"

She closes her mouth and tries to hide her smile. "Yep." Her body is still shaking.

I roll my eyes at her. "Isn't it against the law to offend the queen or something?"

She shrugs. "Is it?"

I smirk. "Probably."

"Then I place my life in your hands my queen." She gets down on the ground and bows at my feet. "Do with it what you will."

"Okay okay, stop it." I look around the street. People are staring.

She jumps up and plops back on the bench. "Okay. Back to being serious. It's really not that difficult to learn to control the type of kiss you are using. First off, to turn someone, you have to want to turn them. If you have the intention of turning a person when you kiss him, then that's what you will do - it's all in the mind. If you don't want to turn him, then you won't. Second, even if you somehow accidentally triggered a change, you would have to whisper words in the ancient language to complete it, and without those words, the person won't change. It is the same with weres. You won't harm him unless you intend to, and then you'd have to whisper words to complete it. So you really don't have to worry about it."

I let out a sigh of relief. "That sounds pretty straight-forward."

"Yep! Most pixie magic is like that. You have to think about what you want to do, and then you'll do it. You just have to make sure you're mind is focused on that one thing and doesn't wander.

I think that's why evil pixies are stronger most of the time. Evil is very focused. It does not stray, does not wander, is not tempted to deviate. It knows it is evil and is committed to practicing that evil. Whereas good people get lost, they question things, and they love and worry about others. We have a lot more going on in our heads, so it is harder to focus and gain strength from magic."

I think about that a moment. "But then, that can be a strength, too. Like mothers who see their child hurt and suddenly become stronger so they can lift a car and save them. Being good means you have people to protect, and that duty will help us focus and make us stronger."

Becca smiles at me. "You sound like Astley. He says stuff like that all the time. It's why we have so much faith in him and believe we can win."

I'm like Astley? That seems like a really big compliment. I don't deserve it though, because there's no way I would be able to handle all that Astley has to handle. He does so much for his people, and he's done so much for me. "He is amazing."

"I think so too." I look over at Becca. I hadn't realized I'd spoken that last part aloud. "He's even a better king than his father. And he's still young, so he will grow even greater."

I smile. I am glad his people think highly if him. I wonder if Astley knows how his people love him. I realize I am very proud to call him my friend and to call him my king.

I catch Becca looking at me. She has that look on her face like she knows something I don't. "What?"

She turns her face, but her expression doesn't change. "Nothing."

I am looking at her face, trying to figure out what she thinks is so amusing, and that's how I see her stiffen. I'm about to ask what is wrong but then I feel it too - a presence in the trees across from us. I can't explain it, but some pixie sense I have tells me to duck; so I get on the ground. I hear a thunk in the wood bench above me and I look up to see a big knife right where my head just was.

All of a sudden I see Becca move in front of me; four pixies are running out of the trees with swords in the air. Who the heck carries swords? I recognize one of them - Vander. He is staring right at me, a battle cry on his lips as he is running. It all is in slow motion for me, and I realize I am still squatting on the ground. I stand up. I'd not have a weapon, though. I grab the armrest on the end if the bench and pull it off easily. It is iron, I can feel it burning my hands a little - it's been a while since I took my pill - but it will hurt them a lot more. I see Becca rip off the other one. Then everything is in normal speed again.

One pixie attacks Becca and she is forced to the right. I see Vander's sword just as it is coming down toward my head, and I block it with the armrest. I manage to push him back, and he screams when I catch his face with the iron. I hear a swishing sound beside me and I move to avoid the sword of another pixie. I don't avoid it fast enough, though, and it makes a gash in my arm. Another one comes at me. There are three attacking me now and I try to fend them off. I see Becca looking over at me, trying to get away to help, but she can't break away from her attacker. One of the pixies manages to push me down, and as I look up at three pixies standing over me, I know this is it. I see Vander's sword come toward my head and I close my eyes.

Metal clangs against metal and I look to see Astley, also with a sword (seriously, where do they get all these?), blocking the attack. After he pushes Vander away, the other two pixies attack him. He looks absolutely regal as he fights them. He moves as if the sword is just an extention of his arm, moving it fluidly to bock and attack. He has no problem fighting two pixies at once. His green eyes look over at me.

"Stand up Zara!"

Oh, right, stand. That would be a good idea. I flip my body up just in time to block Vander's sword again. Vander is not nearly as good with his sword as Astley and it is not difficult to fight off his attacks. I quickly get him on the defensive, and eventually manage to knock him off his feet. As soon as he is down, I kick away his sword. I raise my very threatening armrest and look down at him, trying to figure out what to do next.

Even on the ground, Vander manages to look threatening. He glares up at me. "We _will_ kill you, you know. More will come in my place. It's only a matter of time. But now you will get to watch as we kill your friends, just like we killed the wolf and the bear." A sinister smile spreads across his face.

I see the iron piece come down fast and hard in front of me and I hear a sickening crunch as it makes contact with his head. For a moment I think Becca came over to silence him, but then I see blood on my shaking hands. The pacifist in me wants to throw up, but my newly-found vicious side rejoices.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. It is Astley's. I look around and see all the other pixies on the ground.

"Zara?" I look over at him. He is searching my body with his eyes. He looks a bit frantic. "You are not hurt are you?" I shake my head. "Thank the gods!" He pulls me into a hug and holds me tight. He is shaking a bit too. Was he scared? No, Astley doesn't get scared.

I look up at him. "How did you- Oh nevermind. Thanks for coming."

He smiles down at me and his hand strokes my hair. "I will always be there for you, Zara." Now his eyes are blue and warm.

This is all getting a little too intimate, so I step back. He lets me go. I catch Becca smiling at us and I shoot a questioning look at her. "Well I better get going!" She winks at me, then looks over at Astley. "I will report this to Amelie, King Astley." She bows and turns to leave.

"Let me know how your date goes!" I yell after her.

"You too!"

"I don't have a-," I start to say, but she is already running off.

After she leaves, Astley asks me all about what happened. He doesn't hug me again, though he looks like he wants to. He offers to fly me back home and I accept, because I don't have a car and I don't want to run into any more pixies right now.

When I get home, the house is empty. I walk right upstairs, take a long shower, and plop right into bed and fall asleep.


	8. Dating

I know! I know! I really suck at this updating thing. Please don't throw things at me!

I finally gave in and read the real Endure. It inspired me to get back to writing this one. Especially since I was a little confused at the end. Anyone else? Well it was still awesome. :)

So here are the next couple chapters. I'm finally at the part of the story I've been trying to get to! I'm almost done with Chapter 10, so that will be up soon; and then just one more to wrap it up! I really hope you enjoy it. If you do, I think I'd like to continue it in another story. I definitely have some ideas I would love to write out. :)

Need still isn't mine.

**Chapter 8 - Dating**

Sarmassophobia.

I wake up to the sound of the front door opening downstairs. I hear Betty greet the person, and then I hear Nick's voice. That makes me jump out of bed. Nick is here!

"I hope you don't mind. Zara said it was alright. Did she say anything to you?" I hear Nick ask. Crud, I totally forgot to tell Betty that I invited Nick to stay with us. "If it's any trouble, I can-"

"Nonsense. You are always welcome here. We have a guest room here, you know. You are welcome to it always. As long as you don't go wandering into other rooms." I can just picture her giving him that protective grandma look.

I hear Nick's husky laugh. "Yes mam."

I run down the stairs to see him and Betty smiling at each other. I give Nick a big smile and run over to him. I stare at his one duffel bag, then back at him.

"What? I don't need much."

I roll my eyes at him and pick up his bag.

"Hey I'll carry that. It's heavy."

"You forget, I'm tough now." I throw the bag over my shoulder.

I hear him mumble and it sounds something like 'how could I'.

I drop him off at the guest room and set the bag down. It hits the floor with a thud. I guess it was heavy.

I take a deep breathe and say, "So, um, I was wondering." Nick is sitting on the guest bed. He looks up at me. "Do you want to go to a movie tonight or something?"

A slow smile spreads on his face. "I would like that."

I make a small squee sound before I can stop myself. I try to cover it with a cough, which so does not work. Embarrassed, I leave Nick to get settled.

That night, I get dressed in my favorite green sweater and dark blue jeans. I even do up my hair and put on some eyeshadow. I look positively feminine, which is not normal for me, but I want to look good. When I walk downstairs and see Nick's face, it is definitely worth it.

Nick drives me to the theatre. Since he is back, the MINI is his. I'll have to find a new car.

We go see a zombie movie. Nick got really excited when he heard it was out, and I certainly couldn't refuse him. He holds my hand through the whole movie, and squeezes it during the fight scenes, when he's on the edge of his seat. It's funny watching him watch movies. He nearly jumps out of his seat when he gets excited.

After the movie, we go get ice cream. We sit inside the parlor and talk about how we met and things that happened in the past, and we laugh and forget about how horrible things have been.

It is every bit the perfect date. Except for one thing.

He is looking at me and smiling, and his dark brown eyes are like molten chocolate. I lean in.

When he sees what I am doing, he snaps his head back quickly. It is like a slap in the face.

"I won't hurt you. I mean I know how to control it and..."

"I'm sorry, Zara. I just. I can't."

"Can't ever?"

"Oh there will definitely be a time for kissing, Zara. You just have to be patient with me."

I can be patient, and I certainly don't mind waiting for him. I would wait forever for Nick. I don't understand how he can tell me he loves me, though, and still not be ready to kiss me. But it doesn't matter. "I will wait."

He smiles at me. Then his eyes catch on my arm. "What happened Zara?"

I rolled up my sleeves to eat ice cream and my cut is showing from the sword fight yesterday.

I shrug. "Ran into some pixies. They had swords, I didn't. Totally unfair if you ask me." I give him a smile. He doesn't laugh.

"You shouldn't be fighting, Zara."

"What? Of course I should. I'm one of the tough guys now. I should be defending people. Besides this scratch is nothing. It will be healed by tomorrow."

This doesn't make him feel better. "What ever happened to peace? You never used to be a fighter."

I sigh. "I still don't want to fight. But sometimes it is necessary. Even Gandhi said that fighting could be called for when it is the only option to protect people."

"I agree. But it's not how I wanted you to be. I wanted you to stay pure." His eyes are sad when they look at me. They are sad about more than one thing and I wonder what else is making him feel that way. There is something else there too. Determination? I suddenly feel like there is something he isn't telling me. I'm afraid I'll push him away if I ask him, though.

We finish our ice cream in silence. It is an awkward silence. Neither of us knows what to say. I keep trying to think back to what I did wrong. The scratch on my arm is nothing, but right away it seems to have changed things between us. Something feels very different between us, very wrong, and I don't know what to do or say to repair it.

Afterwards, we drive home. Nick stares straight out the window the whole time, that same determined look on his face. I try to start up conversation, but he's obviously not in a talking mood. I want to ask him what is bothering him, but I have a feeling he wouldn't tell me. I also have a feeling I wouldn't like the answer if he did. He is starting to scare me a little.

He pulls into the driveway and he looks over at me.

"You're not coming in, are you?" I ask.

"No. I have some things I need to do."

"Like what?"

"I'm sorry, Zara."

"But wh-" I reach out my hand toward his. He flinches away.

"We'll spend time together again, I promise."

I get out of the car. It's all I can do. I obviously disgust him. I try hard not to cry as I walk to the door. I turn around, hoping that he will change his mind, that he will run up to me and kiss me and tell me he loves me again. I turn just in time to see him pull out and screech away.

How could he tell me he loves me if he doesn't even want to touch me? I am confused and hurt and tired. I am tired down to my bones. I wonder idly if my bones are now blue like the rest of me. I have killed enough pixies you would think I would know what their anatomy is like. Are these the things people think about when they're crazy? I feel like I'm going crazy.

Betty opens the door in front of me. I realize then that I've been standing here a few minutes. "Zara, honey, what are you doing standing out here in the cold?"

I try to put a smile on my face. I don't think I achieve it. "Just wanted some fresh air."

She holds the door open and I walk in. I feel a little like a robot as I go about making dinner. Pasta as usual. I'm not even hungry after the popcorn and ice cream, but I feel like I should be doing something. My mind won't shut off. All it can do is wonder. I wish it would stop.

After eating a little pasta, I collapse into bed. I hug my legs up to myself and cry silently before falling asleep.

A couple weeks pass, although it doesn't seem like that long. Devyn, Issie, Cassidy and I meet with the pixies (my pixies, not the evil ones) to talk about war strategies and stuff. At first it is just Astley, Amelie and Becca, but then we start to meet more. Hundreds have moved out here to help Astley fight. Some are our age, some are older, but they all show a great loyalty to their king. It is inspiring, really.

We all try inviting Nick each time, but he refuses to join us. Says he'll catch up on the war strategy after. I don't seen Nick much at all in two weeks. I know he's still staying with us still because I can smell him, but he comes in after I've gone to bed and leaves before I'm up. I have really been getting worried. Is he going to the library still? If so, why? I have decided to stay up and finally confront him about it, even though his response kind of really terrifies me.

Astley comes over every day. Even though he is here mostly for war discussion, it is nice having him here. In a way it is better that Nick has been gone because I know he would not approve of the house being full of pixies, although I feel awful for thinking that. Astley smiles at me every time I see him and I can't help but smile back. His smiles are warm and gentle, and have been helping heal the ache I feel in my chest.

He is smiling at me now and my eyes are caught on his. He has beautiful eyes, dark and deep and powerful. They are green again today and match his dark green sweater.

I look away. I need to be focusing on the war.

It is strange to be planning a war. I look around the room each time and realize again how young we all are. Shouldn't there be specialists doing this kind of thing? War-type people that actually know what they're doing? But I guess those people don't know about pixies and would think we were crazy if we asked them to help us plan a pixie war. Probably best not to involve humans anyway.

Right now, Astley and Amelie are talking with Devyn about attack strategies. I see Becca look at her phone every once in a while and giggle. Her and her human boyfriend are getting along well. It gives me hope. Surely Nick and I can fix things. I just need to talk to him. He'll probably apologize and realize what a jerk he is being. He probably doesn't even realize it. So if I talk to him, we can fix it.

"We have discovered that their base is here," Amelie says. She is pointing at the deep wood north of town. "We have not been able to get a close look, but it seems most of Frank's pixies don't actually live there. They are scattered. For many of them it seems their purpose is to create chaos and they do not return to home base except to get further orders. This definitely gives us an advantage in the attack. If we could sneak in and kill Frank before he has the chance to order his pixies back to base, we might be able to avoid a full-on war."

Devyn is looking at the map and rubbing his chin. It is very cliche. "A surprise attack, huh? It would have to be a small team to be able to sneak in. Who are you thinking of assigning?"

Amelie sits up straighter. "I will lead a team of our strongest pixies into the heart of the stronghold."

"I'll come with you," I offer.

"No you will not! You and Astley must stay safe. We will have guards assigned to you both in separate locations while this attack goes on, as I expect there will be a strong retaliation either way."

I open my mouth to argue. I am not staying put while other people risk their lives for us and this town. Before I can say anything, Devyn speaks.

"I'm sure you could use a bird. I can fly over the area and get a better look at the base."

Amelie nods. "That would be very helpful."

I start to say something again, but this time am cut off by beeping sounds. Amelie and Becca look down at their watches. "Patrol time!" Becca says, getting up and stretching. She has a smile on her face again. I wonder how she can stay so positive all the time. I wish I could be like that.

"We will talk specifics tomorrow," Amelie says with a nod to all of us, and walks out the door. Becca gives us all a wave.

Devyn, Issie and Cassidy say goodbye and take off as well. When Astley starts to leave I panic a little. I don't want to be alone. I am so tired of being alone. I grab his hand. He turns around.

"Stay? Please?"

He looks into my eyes, searching. I know he can feel what I am feeling. He nods.

Astley and I eat spaghetti and watch a movie. It is a nice, sweet movie, and doesn't make me think of war. Afterwards, we talk about what we would want to do with our future. We pretend there is no war, no one out to kill us. It makes me feel safe.

Astley insists on cleaning, though I try to stop him. "Nonsense," he says. "You cooked, I will clean." It is weird imagining my king doing the dishes. I am sure it is not something he does often. I smile and let him, because sometimes you need someone to take care of you.

As I start heading to the living room, I sense a pixie coming toward the house. I have been getting better with my pixie senses and I can tell it is Becca. Did she forget something?

I open my door just before she gets there. I expect to see her smile and laugh and say "Sorry, totally forgot!". So it is a shock when I see her - the ever-positive Becca - with a look of horror on her face. Her eye are red and her face is wet and she can't stop shaking. She collapses on the porch in my arms. I feel Astley behind me and his worry mixes with mine.

"Please, you have to help me. They took him!"


	9. Hunting

I still don't own Need. Sad face.

**Chapter 9 - Hunting**

Nyctohylophobia.

I hate the woods.

It is getting dark and we are in the deep woods of Maine, the area where lots of people get lost and die. I won't get lost now because I'm a pixie, but it's still creepy. Plus, these trees are old and huge and anything could be hiding behind them. A hand lands on my arm. I don't jump because I know who it is.

"Calm down, Zara. It shall be alright."

I take a deep breath. "Right. Calm."

After Becca showed up at my doorstep, I immediately offered to help her. The pixies who captured her boyfriend lured him in a different direction than Frank's base, so it should not be difficult to recover him, but I still have a bad feeling about the mission. Did they know who he was? It's a loose connection, so surely this can't be a trap, right? Astley started insisting that we wait to put a team together first, but I knew that he didn't have that long. Becca knew it too.

I tried calling Nick, but he didn't answer. Figures. So I left him a text telling him what was going on. This is one of those times I really wish he was here. Nick is the best warrior we have.

The wind is picking up. It howls through the trees. We are moving as fast as we can without making noise. Becca's face is more serious than I have ever seen it. There is no smile, just an eerie calm. She is determined to save this man. Her look kind of reminds me of Nick's the last time I saw him.

The smell of the pixies is getting stronger. We are getting closer. It smells like there are four of them. No, five? Their need is almost a tangible thing. The plan is to get close enough to assess the situation and then surprise attack them.

A man screams in the distance. It is so full of pain. Becca takes off running.

"Becca, no!" It is too late. Astley and I chase after her.

We get to a clearing with six or seven pixies. They don't look surprised at all to see us, which is so not good. A man is lying in the middle of them. He must be Becca's boyfriend. A couple of the pixies are still feeding on him, like they don't even care that there is a fight going on. Becca starts attacking them like a machine. She brought a knife with her and she holds it in her hand, swinging and stabbing. Astley and I didn't have time to get real weapons so he has an iron towel rack and I have an iron frying pan. Not very threatening, but it was all we could grab.

Thankfully, they don't have swords this time, just claws, so we have the advantage. Astley and I stand back to back ducking, twisting and stabbing. I have to admit, we are pretty good at it. It is almost like a dance and I can almost forget that I'm killing people. Almost.

One of the pixies that was feeding on Becca's boyfriend before sneaks up on her and steals her knife. Before he can attack with it, she turns her nails into claws and stabs him in the chest. She is very fast. I see his eyes widen, and even though I know he is evil, I feel sorry for him as I watch the life leave him. His body shakes and he falls to his knees, then to the ground. His body shudders.

I look around and see the bodies of all the pixies. I turn away.

Astley wraps his arms around me. "There was no other way, Zara. We did what was right."

I don't feel like I did right, but I let him comfort me anyway. In the background I hear Becca walk over to her boyfriend. I turn around.

The man is shaking on the ground. He is bleeding from several wounds but it doesn't look major. We got here in time. As Becca bends down to him, he scoots away. He looks around at the carnage.

"What were those things?" He looks Becca up and down. "What are you?"

Becca looks down and realizes her hands are still claws. She retracts them and makes herself unimposing. "I can explain."

"You're one of them! You're one of those... those _things_ aren't you?" His eyes are so wide they look like they could swallow tiny Bacca whole. Even still shaking, he pushes himself off the ground and runs away, deeper into the forest. Becca looks after him for a second and I see her heart breaking. I know the feeling. Then she gets up and chases after him.

Astley moves his hand toward mine. I take it in my own. It is warm and nice.

I smell it before I see it. There is a pixie coming our way. Astley and I tense for a fight. Then we watch the pixie run right past us. In the direction Becca went.

Astley looks at me, squeezes my hand and runs after him. Normally I would follow, but I have seen enough killing tonight and I know he can handle the one pixie. I look around at all the bodies on the ground. We will have to dispose of them, though I am not sure where. We are in the middle of the woods. Could we leave them here and let the snow take them?

It seems cruel to leave them out in the open. I should at least bury them. I start heading toward a dry patch of dirt. I will dig their graves with my hands. It is the least I can do, even if they were evil.

I smell something behind me. How did I miss it before? I turn to look, but too late. I feel cold metal close around my wrists. Iron handcuffs.

Two pixie guys are standing behind me. They put their hands on my shoulders to force me down. I thrash and kick and try to stay up, but it is no use and I fall to my knees. They keep their hands firmly on my shoulders so I can't move. I am bound completely with no one to help me. How do I always get myself in these situations?

Someone is laughing in the distance. It is a high, shrill laugh. I would recognize it anywhere.

"Hello Isla."

She steps out of the trees then, a crooked smile on her face and madness in her eyes. "Why Zara, ever the polite one. So nice to see you again." Her smile spreads. She is just as I remember her - long beautiful blonde hair and smells of roses. She hardly looks threatening at all, except for her eyes, which are silver again. The long rose-colored dress she's is wearing drags on the ground as she walks, collecting leaves and dirt. She doesn't seem to notice.

The sun has almost set and it has turned the whole sky a blood red, much like the color of Isla's dress, and the color of the body-strewn ground. When Isla gets near the first of the dead pixies, she looks down at the body in disgust, as if his death was purposely done to dirty her path. Then she gives a little hop and starts flying over the bodies. She lands directly in front of me easily.

I remember Astley telling me that his mother can fly but his father couldn't. I wonder if that's why he's not very good at landings, because he never had anyone that cared to show him how.

"Now Zara, you have been a busy girl. I'm impressed, really." She turns and walks a few paces away. "Killing pixies, bringing mutts back from the dead... How do you find the time?"

I don't have a clever retort for that, so I just say "What do you want with me?"

She giggles and waves her hand at me like we are old friends talking gossip. "Oh don't worry, Zara dear, we will get to that." She walks back in front of me and bends to my level. "But first I want to know... How is that mutt that you rescused from Valhalla? Has he gone rabid yet?"

Rabid? Does she mean how strange he's been acting? How could she know about that?

"Oh sweet Zara, of course I know. You must remember I rescued someone from death too."

"Your brother. Frank." The evil pixie king that has been trying to kill everyone in this town and succeeded in killing Nick.

Isla pats me on the head like I'm her pet. "Very good! Yes, Zara, I took my brother. Not that he remembers any of it, the poor dear. And look at him now! Positively insane. It has made him much more interesting, if you ask me, but I simply can't get him to follow my orders any more," she pouts. "You should be lucky I came for you Zara White. Frank wants you for himself - forever - whereas I just want you dead. Oops." She covers her mouth with her dainty little hand. "There I go again, giving away the ending."

"Is that what happened to you?" I blurt out without thinking. I can't think about the rest of what she said.

She cocks her head to the side and blinks at me. "You think I'm crazy, don't you?" She straightens her head and gets closer to me. "Perhaps I am. Knowledge can make a person crazy. Knowledge and life."

She throws her head back and starts laughing, as if something is suddenly very funny. The sound is off, though, and her eyes are wide. _She is truly crazy._

She is also distracted. I try to keep her talking. "What do you mean knowledge and life make you crazy?"

Her hysterical laughter cuts off all of a sudden and she looks back at me almost completely sober. Her eyes are still a little wide and crazy when she smiles at me. "Ah, Zara. That's another reason you should thank me. Once you're dead, you won't have to find out. You've never even had to feel loss. Lucky girl."

"Of course I've felt loss! _You're brother_ made sure of that when he killed Nick!"

"Oh that's right. You lost your little boyfriend and were upset. You were together how long? Two months?" She gets right up in my face, so that her nose almost brushes mine, and she wispers "Try two-hundred years."

Two-hundred years? Do pixies really live that long? I remember her butler in New York saying he had served her for a hundred years.

I wonder if I will live that long... Well, if I manage to escape from my current situation.

"I was with my husband, my king for two-hundred years. You have no idea what that kind of loss is. NO! IDEA!"

She loved him, I realize. This crazy woman. I would not have thought she was capable of love. Two-hundred years... I can't even imagine what that would be like. If Nick and I had been together that long, would I have gone crazy after his death? As it was, I almost lost it. I almost gave up. Is this what happens when a lover dies?

Only something doesn't make sense. "Then why do you hate your son? He is your husband's son too. How can you hate the son of the man you loved?"

Her mouth turns down in disgust. "I never wanted that child. His father loved him more than he loved me, which I will never understand. He even gave up his life for that boy. It is Astley's fault he is dead! And I intend to make him suffer for it." She moves her face away again and smiles. I can tell she has remembered what she plans to do to me.

I open my mouth to try to distract her - surely I can buy enough time for Astley or Becca to come back - but she cuts me off.

"Now, Dearie, no more talking. You are going to help me make my son suffer. Your death will tear him apart, much more so than the death of his previous queen did. I do hope you've made your peace."

I struggle against the arms holding me, trying desperately to get free, but they are too firm. I see Isla turn her nails into long claws, and I realize she plans to run me through with them. It will not be a painless death. But then, why would she want that? I struggle more. It is no use. I don't want to die here. There is still so much I haven't done.

Isla steps back to get leverage to lunge. I close my eyes, because, really, what else can I do? I think I hear someone yell "No" before I feel long claws pierce through my stomach. A liquid hits my forehead and I wonder in a detached way how my blood could have splashed all the way to my forehead.

Dying doesn't feel like I thought it would. And then the smell hits me. Blood. Pixie blood. But not mine.

I open my eyes through the pain to see Astley standing in front of me. My first thought is _it's too late to help me, Astley_. And then I see his mother's claws sticking out of his back.

The pain I am feeling is his, I realize. He stepped in front of me and took the blow. I feel his blood drip on my legs from his mother's claws. It soaks through my jeans. Then someone is screaming again. It's a bone-chilling, desperate sound. The world starts moving very slowly.

I see Isla withdraw her claws, a surprised and disappointed look on her tiny face. I think I see some regret there - sadness? - but that can't be right, and it doesn't matter anyway. I see Astley fall to his knees and then to his side on the ground. I don't see him move.

I barely feel the iron handcuffs burn and tear my skin. I do feel the small chain give and break. And I feel my own claws come out as I spin around and stab the two pixie guys that were holding me. Their eyes are wide, shocked, as they bleed out and fall to the ground.

_Only one more_, I think. I turn around and head for Isla. Astley's blood is still dripping from her nails as her eyes find me. I want to see her blood drip. I lunge for her. Before I can reach her, she gives a little hop and flies into the air. She stares down at me as she flies away. She doesn't give an evil laugh or say anything. Evil people are supposed to do that. Things never happen like they're supposed to.

She just disappears in the sky, leaving me feeling empty.

I see Astley's body lying on the ground. His body has turned into his pixie form. That can't be good. Is he...? No, I can feel his life within me, but it is barely there. We are miles from home. Even running full speed carrying him, it would take a half hour to get back. He doesn't have that long.

I want to fall apart, scream again, give in to this crazy swarm of feelings that is choking me. I don't let myself. I don't give up.

I pick Astley up. He feels so light and looks so small and young. He is usually so strong, my king. I look around the area. I don't know where Becca went. I have no one to help me.

My biological dad said to me once that I would probably be able to fly when I turned pixie, because _he_ could. I came from royal blood and joined royal blood when I became Astley's queen. I tried to fly when I fought Frank and I couldn't. If there was ever a time to try again, it was now. I was Astley's only hope.

I saw Isla do it. I hold Astley close and give a little hop, thinking _I need to fly, I need to fly_. I feel my body float and nearly laugh in relief. Then I look up at the sky and will my body up. It works and I am flying.

I head toward home, hoping and praying that Betty is there. _Hold on Astley. You're going to be alright. I promise. _


End file.
